


Nobody else but the two of us here

by soberqueerinthewild



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: I just like to write them making out ok, M/M, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 02:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21111371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soberqueerinthewild/pseuds/soberqueerinthewild
Summary: Eddie sees Buck kissing another guy and really doesn't like it.





	Nobody else but the two of us here

**Author's Note:**

> I cribbed the entire plot from  this reddit post and also took some inspiration from the scene in Red, White, and Royal Blue where Nora knocks some sense into Alex. This fic is all sorts of ridiculous. It’s set in the nebulous future where Buck is back at the 118. 
> 
> As with every single thing I write, this would never have come into existence without the encouragement of @seeaddywrite (see_addy_write on AO3) <3.
> 
> I'm @soberqueerinthewild over on tumblr too. Come visit me there if you'd like.
> 
> *Title from Dear Evan Hansen "Only Us"

The thing is, Eddie isn’t homophobic. At least, he’s pretty sure he’s not homophobic. He’s 30 years old, he’s lived in LA for two years, he’s spent time around plenty of folks at every point along the LGBT spectrum. He went to the wedding of two men he served with just last year, and teared up a little at how beautiful the ceremony was. He and Christopher have dinner at Hen and Karen’s once or twice a month at least. And in all that time, he’s never had an issue. At least he doesn’t _think_ he has. He wracks his brain to review every time he’s seen a queer couple act affectionately in the past, and he truly doesn’t recall feeling any level of discomfort. So he can’t figure out why the fuck his insides twisted and he felt vaguely nauseous when he caught sight of Buck kissing some guy in his car before shift one morning two weeks ago.

At first he tried to write it off as surprise. Eddie can admit that it was a bit of a shock when he overheard Buck talking about an upcoming date to Hen and caught that he was using _male_ pronouns about a month ago. Buck had looked his way and blanched when he realized Eddie had overheard. Eddie was quick to reassure Buck that it didn’t matter to him. He’d asked a few cursory questions about the guy and tried to act normal. He did feel a little, well, weird about it, and if he’s being honest, a little hurt that Buck hadn’t told him he was bisexual. They were supposed to be best friends, at least Eddie thought they were. But he’d put that hurt aside and tried to be supportive. Now he worries maybe Buck had sensed some latent homophobia in him that he hadn’t even been aware of, and that’s why he hadn’t shared until he had no choice. 

When Eddie asked, Buck told him, haltingly, with uncharacteristic shyness, that during his recovery he’d had a lot of time to think, and had realized that his sexuality wasn’t quite as narrow as he’d previous thought and his attraction wasn’t limited just to women. Eddie thought he’d made appropriately supportive noises, and from Buck’s relieved grin, he thought they’d ended the conversation on a good note. The idea of Buck being bisexual didn’t bother Eddie exactly, though over the next weeks he did find himself thinking about it quite a bit. Wondering exactly how Buck had known, if there was a particular guy who had triggered that realization, and idly wondering what Buck’s type was. 

So evidently thinking about Buck being bisexual in the abstract was fine for Eddie, it was actually seeing it in practice that appeared to be the problem. Because unfortunately the irritation and nausea he’d felt in the face of the kiss wasn’t a one time thing. If anything, it had intensified 

Last week, he and Buck went out for a drink on a rare night free for Eddie, when Christopher was at a sleepover. As much as he loved spending time with Buck and Christopher at home, sometimes it was nice to have an adult night out. And it had been nice. Right up until it wasn’t. At first Eddie wasn’t bothered when Mark from the 147 had come over to start chatting. Sure, Eddie would have rather just talked to Buck, since he felt like Buck was the person he could usually relax around, but Mark was a nice guy, and Eddie wasn’t opposed to him sharing a round with them. Right up until he noticed Mark edging his chair a little closer to Buck’s. Noticed the way he was laughing just a bit too loudly at Buck’s jokes, his hand lingering on Buck’s arm, the small of his back, his thigh. Noticed the way he looked at Buck, and even worse, noticed the way Buck was looking right back. 

The nauseous feeling returned with a vengeance, and Eddie could barely follow the conversation. He was so snippy and irritated the rest of the night that Buck kept shooting concerned glances his way, until Eddie finally gave up and called it a night. His stomach knotted when Buck decided against leaving with him, his eyes flickering with interest to the table Mark was sharing with his friends, and he nearly crashed his car three times on the way home because he was pissed, and wasn’t even sure why. 

His mood has steadily worsened since that night, culminating in him snapping at Buck to get back to work this morning when he saw him smiling at his phone when he and Eddie were supposed to be doing inventory. Buck had put his phone away, looking wounded, and hadn’t spoken a word to Eddie since. With good reason, since Eddie’s never cared if anyone else in the 118 has paused when it’s not busy to answer a text. But every time he’d seen Buck look at his phone and smile, he’d imagine it was Mark texting. He couldn’t stop his mind from imagining the two of them on a date, making out, what might happen if they went home together. The roiling feeling in his gut intensified every time he thought about it. 

He’s spent all day trying to figure out what the hell his problem is and homophobia seems to be the only rational explanation for his behavior. He needs to figure out a way to curb it before it ruins the best friendship he’s ever had. 

******

Eddie’s still thinking about his weird, sudden onset attack of homophobia when he and Christopher arrive at Hen and Karen’s for dinner. He tries to put it aside, but his mind doesn’t want to focus on anything else. He’s attuned to Karen and Hen’s casual intimacy throughout the night, and he’s positive he feels no trace of the discomfort or disgust at all. It’s completely incongruous with the way he’s been feeling around Buck lately, and his frustration sticks with him all through dinner. He knows he’s being withdrawn and rude, but he can’t seem to shake it off. 

After the plates are cleared, Christopher and Denny escape to the living room to play some video game, and Hen pours more wine for herself and Eddie, and tea for Karen, before finally asking, “So are you gonna tell us what the hell is up with you or not?” 

Eddie grimaces. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Yes, you’re not subtle, spill.” Hen demands. 

Karen adds, softer, “That is, if it’s something you’d like to talk about. We’re happy to listen.” 

Eddie knows they’re probably not the right audience for this. He feels odd asking his lesbian friends to help him figure out whether or not he’s homophobic. He’s pretty sure that’s not emotional labor they should have to take on, but he doesn’t really have anyone else he can go to about this, so it all comes spilling out. He tells them about his reaction to seeing Buck kiss that random guy, about Mark from the 147, about snapping at Buck about texting that morning, and the confusing mix of disgust, nausea, and irritation he’s been feeling. 

“So yeah, I think I’ve developed some weird, Buck-specific homophobia, because I swear I never feel that way with you, or Michael, or any of my other queer friends. I don’t know, maybe it’s because Buck’s my best friend and we’re so close? I don’t know!” Eddie realizes he’s rambling and cuts himself off, unable to look Hen and Karen in the eye while he waits for their reaction. 

He’s not sure what he was expecting, but Hen bursting into laughter wasn’t it. He looks up in astonishment and sees that while Karen isn’t laughing, she is fighting back a smile herself, and exchanging a look with Hen, the kind he and Buck shoot at each other sometimes when they’re communicating without words. Karen’s the first one to speak, while Hen tries valiantly to pull herself together. 

“Sorry,” Karen says softly, putting a hand on his arm and looking at him with a combination of affection and pity. “That wasn’t very nice of us to laugh. I can tell this is upsetting you, but I think you can rest assured that you’re not homophobic. I really don’t think that’s what this is.” 

“Ok, then what is it? Why do I feel so uncomfortable whenever I see or think about Buck with a guy?” Eddie’s frustration peaks now, and he’s unable to modulate his tone until he’s practically shouting at Hen and Karen. He just wants someone else to tell him what the fuck is going on so he can start to feel normal again. 

“Because you want to fuck him,” Hen says bluntly, like it’s the most obvious answer to the simplest question. 

Eddie nearly spits out his wine. “What? No.” He shakes his head vigorously. It can’t be that. 

“Sorry,” Hen amends. “That’s not quite accurate. Well, I mean, it is, but beyond that you probably want to date him, marry him, and have lots more babies together. You know, on top of the child you’re already basically raising together.” 

“But...no…” Eddie sputters, but the word lacks conviction. “I mean, but I’m straight?” He doesn’t mean for the sentence to come out sounding like a question, but all of the sudden it is one. 

Hen shrugs, visibly giving up. “Ok, suit yourself. No skin off my back. I lost the pool months ago anyways. I always underestimate the power of denial and compulsive heterosexuality.” 

“Wait, what p—” 

“Hen, be nice!” Karen interrupts, swatting Hen affectionately on the arm. “Ok, Eddie,” She says placatingly. “We absolutely could be wrong about you having feelings for Buck. Only you can say that. I know you want to figure out why you’re feeling this way. I truly don’t think it’s homophobia, but maybe you’re right and it is some form of it. So I want to try a little thought experiment. Just imagine Buck kissing a girl for a minute. Like umm… say he and what’s her name, Ali? got back together and you saw them kissing, like how would you feel? Would you be cool with that?” 

Eddie’s reflexive answer is that of course he wouldn’t care. He’s seen Buck kiss girls before. Sure he’d never particularly liked any of Buck’s girlfriends, but he’d never felt revulsion when he saw them together. But he humors Karen and closes his eyes and tries to imagine it. As soon as the image enters his brain, his blood boils and he wants to throw something, anything, across the room. It obviously shows on his face, if Karen’s look of fond amusement and Hen’s muttered “oblivious moron” is any indication. 

Well, _fuck. _In an instant he’s positive Hen is absolutely right. It’s not homophobia, it’s _jealousy. _And now that he thinks about it, it’s not exactly a new feeling. Sure, the intensity has ramped up, but he’s always been annoyed when Buck’s attention was on anyone _but _him. He’s never had a friend as close as Buck before, no one he missed when they weren’t around, no one who fit so seamlessly into his life, no one who he trusted so implicitly with his child. He thought maybe it was normal in close friendships to be a little possessive, but he’s pretty sure experiencing white hot rage when merely thinking about your best friend kissing someone else is...well, Eddie’s not sure exactly what it is, but it’s definitely _not_ straight_. _

Ok, so he’s not straight and probably in love with his best friend. So there’s that. Problem is, Eddie has no clue what he’s supposed to _do _with this new information. He supposes he might as well throw himself at the mercy of Hen and Karen, since they seem to know everything. 

“Ok, so say you’re right—” 

“I am right,” Hen interrupts. 

“— and I’m jealous. What do I do with that?” 

“God Diaz, do I have to write you a goddamn road map? Tell him or kiss him or whatever and live happily ever after. It’s not that complicated.” 

“But wouldn’t it be presumptuous to assume he wants to be with me, just because he dates men now? He’s probably doesn’t even see me like that.” Eddie’s a little surprised by how much that idea guts him.

Karen does a remarkable job of trying not to look like she’s internally laughing at him, but Eddie can see it in the crease in her brow and the quirk of her lips anyways. Hen makes no such effort, cackling loudly before shaking her head and rolling her eyes heavenward. “God, you’re lucky you’re pretty, ‘cause you’re dumb as hell. That boy has been looking at with stars in his fucking eyes since the first day you walked into the 118.”

“No—I mean, he _hated _me when I started.” 

“Yeah,” Hen agrees sarcastically. “For one day, during which he stared at you a lot when you were working out, tried to impress you, poked at you until he had your attention, and by the end of the day, you developed an epic bromance where you’re basically inseparable and neither of you can keep a girlfriend for more than a couple of weeks.” 

Now that he thinks about it, he and Buck have had a few, well, moments, he guesses is the right word. Times where their eyes caught and Eddie hadn’t wanted to look away, or their hugs lasted a beat or two longer than normal. And really, there’s no one Eddie looks forward to seeing more than Buck, no one else he wants to talk to after a long day. It’s always been different with Buck, from the first day they met. Maybe he has been a complete idiot about this. 

“So, does this mean I’m bisexual?” The word feels strange on his tongue. New, weird, but not necessarily wrong.

“Yes,” Hen answers at the same time Karen says, “That’s not for us to say.” 

“We would _never—” _Karen shoots Hen another pointed look, “tell you how to define your own sexuality. It’s up to you to choose the label that feels best for you. Or some people prefer no labels at all. And there’s no rush. There’s not a clock on this. You don’t have to do anything now, you can take your time and figure out how you feel.” 

“I wouldn’t take too long, though,” Hen adds helpfully. “I know a number of gay and bi firefighters who were more than a little excited to hear that Buck has joined their ranks.” 

Eddie shoots her a dirty look, but he knows she’s right. He’s seen it already; hell, it's what started this whole existential crisis. 

He drops his head into his hands and lets out an emphatic, “_Fuck._” Karen scoots her chair closer to his, pats his arm affectionately and pours him another glass of wine. 

****

By the next morning, Eddie’s come up with a plan. He didn’t sleep much last night. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for him to accept that he has feelings for Buck, but he tossed and turned all night trying to figure out what to do about it, how to make something happen. Now that he knows, he doesn’t want to miss his shot and he has a sinking suspicion that if he doesn’t act soon, Buck will find a boyfriend and he’ll be devastated. So, he’s decided he’s going to invite Buck over after his shift, they’ll have dinner, maybe watch a movie with Chris, and then once Chris is in bed, he’ll just tell Buck that he wants to be more than friends. Simple. 

That plan goes to hell the second he sets foot in the firehouse and sees Mark, who should be at his own goddamn station, but instead is here with his fucking hand on Buck’s arm, looking at Buck like he wants to eat him for breakfast. 

Eddie’s feet move on their own volition and he’s halfway across the room with his hand on Buck’s elbow before he has time to think. “Sorry, we’ve got some important 118 business to discuss, you’ll have to pick this up later,” he says over his shoulder as he propels Buck towards the back of the firehouse. 

Buck looks at Eddie like he’s gone crazy and mouths something that looks like “sorry” to Mark, but doesn’t resist. Eddie steers Buck into the locker room which is thankfully empty. As soon as the door shuts behind them Buck seems to find his voice. “What the hell was that?” 

Eddie wishes he had an answer, but he’s been acting on instinct, blind to everything but the point of contact between Mark's hand and Buck’s arm. This was so not the plan. He’d been intent on talking, but his brain doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. He manages to get out, “Are you and Mark dating?” 

Buck looks at Eddie like he’s been possessed, “No, we’re not.” 

“Good.”

“Good?” Buck asks, bewilderment coloring his features. 

“Yeah, good. Have you kissed him?” 

“What business is that of yours? Has this been your problem lately? You have an issue with me kissing guys? That’s fucked up, Eddie, I thought you were a better friend than that.” There’s real anger there, but Eddie knows him well enough to see the resigned sadness behind it, like maybe some part of him has been waiting for the other shoe to drop since he first came out. 

“You’re right, I _do _have a problem with you kissing guys.” Anger and confusion flash quickly across Buck’s face. Eddie knows he should say something to clarify, but his brain is still muddled and he can’t find the right words. So Eddie does the only thing he can do and takes two decisive steps forward, grabs Buck by the collar of his uniform shirt, and crashes their mouths together. For one terrifying second, he feels Buck freeze beneath him and he worries that Hen and Karen were completely off the mark, and Buck’s disgusted by this, but before he’s even finished the thought, Buck’s hands are in his hair, and he’s kissing him back hard, until they’re both breathless. Eddie can’t figure out where he wants to touch Buck, because it’s _everywhere_. His hands move from his collar, to his shoulders, down his arms until he’s pulling Buck in by his waist. He can’t think, he just knows he wants Buck as close as possible. When they’re forced to pull apart, Eddie keeps a grip on Buck’s waist in case he gets any ideas about going too far. 

Buck looks, well, Eddie guesses ‘stunned’ is the right word, though ‘hot as fuck’ applies as well. Eddie wants nothing more than to pull him back in and make out until they’re forced out on a call, but he realizes he probably should explain. 

“I figured out yesterday that what I have a problem with is you kissing anyone who isn’t _me_.” 

“Oh…wait. So you’re…” Buck trails off, his eyebrows quirking adorably, the way they do when he’s trying to do math, and can’t quite figure out how to make the equation work. 

Eddie takes pity on him. He’s at least had a sleepless night to come to terms with his feelings for Buck, and he hadn’t planned to spring it on him quite like this. 

“Bisexual? Yeah, I guess? Honestly, I’m not all that concerned about labels right now. I’m whatever it is that means I get to be with you.” 

Eddie’s suddenly hit with uncharacteristic uncertainty. Obviously Buck’s at least marginally attracted to him, if that kiss was any indication, but maybe he doesn’t want what Eddie wants. He just realized he was into men, maybe Buck wants to date around for a while, explore his options. Eddie finds he’s not interested in that even a little bit. Now that he’s opened his eyes to it, he knows Buck is _it _for him. He studies Buck’s face carefully for a minute, but he still looks astonished. Blissful too, but primarily astonished, like his brain stopped functioning the second Eddie’s lips touched his. Eddie has no choice but to just ask him, which after all, had been the original plan. 

“Is that what you want? To be with me or—” 

“Yes!” Buck practically shouts before Eddie can finish his sentence. 

“—do you want to you know, explore your options.” 

“No, no, no.” Eddie can’t contain his giddiness and he pulls Buck in for another kiss. Before he can deepen it Buck pulls away and asks worriedly, “Unless you do? Want to date other people.” 

Eddie can’t help but laugh, even though he can see that Buck is a little unsure. “I think I’ve shown that I don’t do well with the idea of you kissing anyone else. So yeah, if we’re gonna do this, I want it to just be us.” 

Buck smiles wide before he leans in to kiss Eddie, slow and deep. He breaks off to press their foreheads together and repeats reverently, “Just us.” 

And then he’s kissing Eddie again, hands at his waist, pushing forward until Eddie’s back hits a locker. Distantly, he thinks maybe this should be weird for him, it is after all the first time he’s kissed a man, but it’s Buck and it’s _perfect_. Like everything has finally slid into the place it was meant to be all along. Then he’s lost in the feel of Buck’s lips and hands, and the press of his body against Eddie’s, and every other thought vanishes. Buck presses hot open mouth kisses to his neck, and Eddie makes a low noise in the back of his throat, tipping his head to the side to give Buck better access. Eddie pulls at Buck’s shirt, unthinking in his quest to feel Buck’s skin under his hands. His progress is impeded when he jostles Buck’s radio in an effort to untuck his uniform shirt, and the beep startles them into jumping apart. 

“Oh god, we’re at _work,_” Eddie groans, dropping his head to Buck’s shoulder. Apparently his brain has jumpstarted and he thanks whatever god is up there that no one had come into the locker room and gotten an eyeful while the two of them were oblivious to the world wrapped up in each other. Though now that he remembers the scene he made dragging Buck in here, he’s pretty sure everyone in the 118 knows what’s been going on. 

“We probably shouldn’t do this here, right?” Buck asks, but the heat in his eyes says that Eddie could easily convince him otherwise.

Eddie sighs resignedly, “This is probably not the time or place. But come over tonight?” 

Buck smiles at him, eyes full of promise, and agrees, “Yeah, okay. Tonight.” He pushes the door open, gesturing for Eddie to move through first before following him out. 

Eddie realizes that Buck’s uniform is disheveled and his hair probably looks like hell at the exact second they step into the kitchen to find the entire 118 squad staring at them expectantly. 

Hen breaks the silence, “So this is happening, then?” 

Eddie looks at Buck, who’s looking back with a half-smile and a shrug, and Eddie thinks _fuck it_, and reaches out his hand to lace his fingers together with Buck’s. 

All of the sudden there’s a cacophony of noise and movement. Someone, he can’t tell who yells, “finally” while others cheer approvingly. Chimney has his phone out snapping a picture to text to Maddie, while Cap appears to be collecting money from everyone. 

Buck looks a little dazed by all the commotion. Eddie just laughs and slings an arm around Buck’s waist, enjoying the way Buck leans into him. “I think Cap won the bet.” 

“A bet? About us? They need to learn to mind their own business,” Buck grumbles looking vaguely put out by the idea. Honestly, Eddie couldn’t care less. He’ll happily take as much good hearted ribbing from the team as they want to dole out, if it means he gets this with Buck. He feels something vibrate in Buck’s pocket. Buck pulls out his phone and groans when he sees the screen. “Speaking of people who need to mind their own business…” Eddie glances down at the phone and sees Maddie has sent a string of texts that appear to consist mostly of exclamation marks and emojis.

“Eh, they’re just excited. Happy for us. You know, probably the only person who will be more excited than your sister and this lot, is Christopher.” 

A grin splits Buck’s face, all traces of annoyance replaced by the softness Eddie’s seen in his eyes every time Buck looks at Christopher. “Yeah?” Buck asks hopefully. And god, how did Eddie get so lucky to find someone who's not only hot as hell, but also loves his son with the same ferocity Eddie does.

“Yeah,” Eddie repeats. And because he can’t not when Buck’s looking at him like that, he leans in to kiss him softly. As they break apart, catcalls ring out from the rest of the squad. Eddie just gives them the finger and kisses Buck again. 


End file.
